"POODLE HAIRCUTS STINK AND HINT AT FAILURE"
THE modern Western world's fascination for bad haircuts has me puzzled.
As one wit observed, a poodle hairstyle is a lot like an embarrassment - it's a short term commitment, looks like shit and the colour has obviously faded over time. And I'd like to add pointless and ridiculous.
In my book, if you want to announce to the world that you're stuck in the 80's, are in denial you are aging, are a blind person that cuts your own hair, have severe bogan tendencies, are having a midlife crisis, or all of the above - go get a poodle style haircut.
Newly divorced women in their 40s once just got an ankle chain - a far less ridiculous nod to their new independent status than a poodle haircut.
Now they're likely to front up a ridiculous haircut (and I use the term firmly). If the 'rachael' cut or the 'posh bob' are not dated enough for your liking. Choose something as nauseating as the 'Buofant Poodle.'
Come on people. Teased, Poodle hair-dos are an ancient ritualistic practice indulged in by cultures with far more exotic and substantial lineages than yours, cultures such as nightclubs in the 80's, and "classy" 1980's hustler mags, hailing as you do from 1980 - 1991 (in extreme cases, 2010)
In Maori culture, for example, or in ancient Egypt, this haircut was far too ridiculous for them to ever adorn themselves with.
And there's no turning back with Poodle hair. You can change the style but u will NEVER live that down. Haircuts are like childbirth?? oh wait. no its not.
What if you get it wrong? Dolly parton has donned the do for almost 30 years now. and its funny. and so very very wrong. Monica Louinski also donned a boufant doo back in the day. sucked in. or maybe just sucked.
Penelope Cruz has NEVER had this haircut. she is far too much of a babe.
Each of the Dixie Chicks have also never had this haircut. for reasons listed above.
Angelina Jolie has a list of tattoos as long as her left arm - which incidentally has at least three tattoos, including a Tennessee Williams quote. Pretentious, ne c'est pas? Maybe she is pretentious, but she has really great hair hey?
Talented and troubled singer Amy Winehouse reckons you can never have enough boufant hair. She has more than a dozen storeys of it on her head. sue wighton is a huge fan.
But while you, dear reader, may be deluded enough to think these poofy abominations are attractive, it seems most people find them particularly unsexy in a potential partner.
According to a recent survey, ALL Australians are totally turned off by 80's hair taller then a house.
So the tip is: if you're searching for a little doo on doo action. best keep yours the way nature intended, within a one metre radius of your head.
And I know this is not an original thought, but just what are these over-the-top decoration going to look like on an ageing head. I guess we do know, thank you Ms wighton.
Oh and while we are publishing fotos of people who did not give their permission. id thought id throw one in myself.
I think I might take Australian inked, successful business woman, Fanny Barlows, lead on aquiring a boufant 80's poodle doo. Heres what she says :
"I dont like poodle hair, It looks super shithouse. But you have taught me it is apparantly totally ok to write articles on individiuals personal aesthetic choices"
Here is my middle finger. It is a bit successful
Fanny Barlow
original post
http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/whats-with-the-trendy-tattoos-ink-stinks-and-hints-of-failure/story-e6freon6-1225949775423
