FANNY BARLOWS GUIDE TO INTERNET SLANG - LESSON 1

hey all you crazy cats. Ever feel like your the only one that cant understand all this crazy netspeak? WEll, HERE I AM!!! throwing all you guys a line to understand-ment. "Undrestand-ment??" u may ask..well that is why you are here..u dont know shit.
Ok lets start with the simple stuff. letter abbreviations and 'laughter' abbreviations.

Y = WHY?

if someone says to you 'y' they are asking you a question meaning 'for what reason' or could be used in this context also "I dont know y there is no cheese left, i swear i didnt eat it all"

SEE! you learn sumthing new everyday.
Single letters are often used instead of a full word. i say YAY to this as who can be bothered taking the extra split second to type an additional 2 letters. eg. U - YOU. sum1 - someone.
GENIUS.

ok now for these apparant 'laughter' abbreviations. you may think LOL, LMAO and ROFL are all signs of humour. YOU ARE WRONG.
LOL which is often mistakenly abbreviated from 'laugh out loud'. Common mistake. i know youve be under the MISCONCEPTION for the past 8 years that it stands for this...but what is actually stands for is...'little old lady.'

Some of you may not know this..but the internet is delivered to your computer via grandmas staring thru (thru - through) your window..and they deliver the connection with their telekenesis eyes by staring at you. so when somebody says to you LOL..it actually is an intercepted message that happened when they have recieved their internet signals. like..letting you know that the little old lady was there, staring at you and sumtimes breathing heavily. Think about it...its TOTALLY logical. the word LOL happens in an unfunny conversation about 5000 times a minute, so dont worry. youre actually not funny at all. Its the telekenetic "little old lady' glitch. ok glad we cleared that up.

LMAO - another abbreviation ppl often get confused over. again..you are not funny. it actually means that you are talking to a perv as it stands for 'lick me all over'

ROFL - ok rofl. I often use this one as a threat... when i want to warn somebody or let know know they have gone too far i say ROFL - which means 'raunchy old fellas lunging'. Which means..if u keep pissing me off ia m gunna send some raunchy old fellas to your house to lunge in front of you. and NOBODY wants THAT.

ok now heres the super tricky part. you may have seen that occasionally somebody links together ROFL and LMAO to become ROFLMAO. if ANYBODY ever says this to you..do not be their friends as they are a really sick fuck.

ok i hope this has helped you all a bit into being a bit more net savvy. let me know if i have helped you. and remember...Physically going shopping is for LOSERS.