the SAM WORTHINGTON IS SINGLE drill

My Phone makes that 'msg recieved' tone late last night. WHYARE YOU TEXTING ME SO LATE!?!?! I huffily stamp over to my phone. I left it on the bar amongst all my crafting shit. '33 messages recieved'. coz im so popular and shit. ok ok ok. 1 msg recieved. Its my sister from another mister, India rose. The information this text message contains is valuable. It shines like a treasure chest. Angels sing and all that shit. 'SAM WORTHINGTON IS SINGLE!' She understands the level of this situation and what it means. Thats why she included the exclamation marks. The process begins.

I put the 'Sam Worthington is single' drill into action. I immediately run to the shed to get a hammer. i SMASH in the emergency glasses face and i hit the giant glowing SAM WORTHINGTON button. Sirens and flashing lights lower from the ceiling. Tiny little robots fly out of mouse holes in the walls of my house. 1 has fake tan. 1 has false lashes. 1 has listerine and 1 has rohypnol. I quickly get my suck em in undies and some vaseline so i can slide into my super awesome super hero catsuit. The cape has velcro..so if it gets caught on anything it simply tears away. I stand on my window sill and a launch into the night. I learnt to fly. Just so you know.

I had some special goggles made. When i wear them everyone NOT sam appears green. Sam appears as a..well sam. and thats how i now its him. Hightech. I also had a pair of goggles specially made for him. When he puts them on i look like Halle Berry. Its simple. Swoop in...get the sam..chloroform is the key. and then leave ASAP. like a swift ninja bird. He will know as soon as the chloroform, rohypnol and oysters (horny goat weed is also acceptable) wear off, That I am the girl of his dreams. And he shall live for the rest of his life alongside ME. And if he ever tries to takeoff his goggles i will beat him. :D

LOVE U SAMMY!!!
xoxoxo
Ur little fanny booboo bunny cakes.